Recently the Lord has reminded me that anything I try to do in my own strength or power will end ugly.
I have started attending a group which makes you journal and the first week is probing inward about anger. I found that my anger (which I was highly unaware of it’s existence ) was mostly due to me constantly saying in my mind, “Let it go,”….”don’t worry about it,”….”just keep moving, it’s not a big deal.” The problem was, it was a lie! I wasn’t letting it go, not worrying about it, or moving on, I was actually stuffing it. Which means my tendency, always to my own great surprise, is to reach a point where, “I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”
I wasn’t able to let it go, although I was fully believing I had, because I was trying to do it in my own strength, by myself. After journaling the Lord has shown me that a much more beneficial road to take would look like this:
“Lord, thank you for giving me the emotion of anger so I can discern when something is wrong. Right now, something is wrong because I am feeling angry. Do You have a solution or a higher perspective or reality for what I am currently experiencing?”
This takes a lot more time and effort than being ruled by my emotion, but I am fixed on moving forward this year. I am partnering with Jesus no matter what it takes to replace my destructive cycles, like this one, with constructive cycles. I am willing to take the extra step for freedom!
The truth is, I cannot muster up enough strength consistently to hold in all the stuff that flies at any of us in just one day, not to mention, weeks, months, and years. I need God, I need Him in every NOW moment, and He is available and with me! What incredible Love! Lord, I fully admit my dependence on You. I need you, Lord, more than ever before! I love you Jesus! Amen!
Ephesians 4:26-32 MSG
26-27 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
28 Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work.
29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
30 Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.
31-32 Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.