Monthly Archives: September 2013

Do we protect our wounds?

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I was chatting with a friend the other day about how many people I run into who want to “face their giants” or start “unpacking their baggage” and yet even though commitment is made, when the time draws near, they run as fast as they can in the other direction.

I personally have been working through stuff since my early 20’s. When we are kids, and stuff happens, we draw conclusions about each memory and how it defines us. The problem is when you are a child, you have a child’s mind. Often times, the conclusions we have drawn and attached to our identity are incorrect, and yet we walk into adulthood with a skewed perspective and a wounded heart and spirit.

Then, most unfortunately, we continue to live out of this wounded perspective and wound others with our words, selfishness, and actions that are all in the name of protecting our wounds.

Jesus came that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He came to set the captives free and heal the wounded. But most of us declare with our actions that we don’t want what He offers. We declare, even though I am wounded, I know how to be this way. I am afraid of the healing process because it would be unfamiliar to be free.

My friend described it like this to me: A woman broke her hand off, but was so afraid of what the surgery might do to her, that she just covered it up, and started doing everything with her other hand. And although it completely limited her ability and caused her much pain, she knew what it felt like to have a wounded hand, and she knew how to operate around it, and she just assumed this was how her life turned out.

SO MANY OF US ARE WALKING AROUND WITH COVERED UP WOUNDS. We have learned how to operate around that wound and have just accepted that this is the way it is going to be! PLEASE STOP! You DO NOT have to have a limited experience of life. There is hope for healing.

Speaking from personal experience, when I was in my early 20’s a close friend asked me, “You have a lot of baggage, and the question is, are you going to unload it now and enjoy life at a higher capacity, or are you going to carry it around with you and let it hold you back and drag you down for the rest of your life?” When it was phrased like that, I knew the choice was obvious, “Let’s face this stuff!”

My experience of healing is perpetual. Hard life stuff flies at us ALL of the time. We are constantly needing to process painful things with the perspective of love. I CANNOT PROCESS with the perspective of love when I am deeply wounded. Like it or not, my main job becomes protecting my wound at any cost. I hurt others when I am wounded.

So, I am writing this today in an attempt to love you. When I am set free, I am free to love, honor, and value others right where they are at in their process. Healing is a process, it is constant, and it is worth it. Every step of the healing process produces eternal fruit that will become a blessing to everyone you encounter. It is so much bigger than you, and you so desperately need to let go of the identity of your woundedness, and say yes to the journey of becoming whole. The Lord will not leave you, you do not need to be afraid, it may not be as hard or arduous as you are imagining.

A great place to begin is just asking the Lord, “What wound in my heart am I afraid to face?” Ask Him if it is time to get some help, maybe a counselor, coach, or close friend who walks tightly with Jesus. Ask Him to help you, to give you courage, to give you strength.

Please choose today to stop adjusting to being wounded, and to start facing the hurt places and receive healing and freedom.

God is FOR YOU! He is WITH YOU! NOTHING is too hard for HIM! and YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Lord Jesus, we need you now more than ever before. Come, draw near, and illuminate our hurting places that we have attached  identity to. Lord, help us to catch a glimpse of what it can be like to live in wholeness, to allow you to heal our brokenness. Lord, I ask that you supernaturally give us courage to take one small step towards healing today. When we want to run away, teach us how to turn back to you and stay the course which you are calling us to. We admit that we need you, and we are terrified of what we may find, and yet I hear you whisper that we do not need to be afraid because what you have for us is better than anything we can imagine. Lord, I choose you, not any other identity, today! I love you Jesus, and it is in your name we pray! Amen!

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No lack…..

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Really contemplating this morning how the Bible says, “There is NO LACK in Him.” Can I really even understand what that means? There is nothing Jesus needs to work on, nothing about Him I just have to deal with, nothing he needs from me, nothing…..He is perfect in every facet, every way, in everything. This changes everything. We are so used to being in relationship with our own- people who experience lack in many ways. We were deliberately created to need each other, to need Him. But he doesn’t NEED us, He DESIRES our relationship. He is LOVE and His only agenda is to pour that love out, always. I can’t relate to Him, the same way I relate to you- because we always need something from each other. We love, but we also need. He has no need. Sorry, I am rambling, seriously JUST NOW tossing this truth around- any thoughts? What does this mean, or change for you?

Well Loved

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I’m so impressed this morning about being God’s daughter.

We took my son to Disney World last night as a last minute decision to catch some rides and see the fireworks. I LOVE spontaneous FUN. I was in my element. AND to top it off, we did his FIRST roller coaster! And the first time he rode in the “race cars” with his Daddy. I found myself so exhilarated to watch his face and see it through his eyes. I have never known a joy this grand, and it constantly expands! How can this be? He was truly mesmerized by the fireworks. He could not peel his eyes away. As I watched his eyes, and the sparkle in them, seemingly down into his spirit, I was undone with love. How did I get this opportunity? Who am I that the Lord would allow me such gifts?

Then this morning when Brendon woke up, as he does every morning, he finds me and sits with me for ┬áawhile. Last night, I slept with a mask on (green at that), and that was the first thing he noticed. He knows my face so well ,because we have a deep love relationship, that the first thing he said was, “On your nose? Water, Mommy, wash it.” I delighted in his discovery, his solution, his revelation. I was so drawn to watch every movement of his mouth as his little voice shared the desires of his heart. I noticed how he was grinning to one side because he was expressing a bit of humor. My heart leaps at his presence. It is so delightful to be his mommy. I just LOVE everything about this human being. EVERYTHING. Even on his bad days ( we all have them) my heart explodes at watching him learn, and turn from behavior that does not fit into our atmosphere. It is so incredible!

So, back to being God’s daughter. As I was enjoying Brendon so much this morning- just minutes ago- the Lord said, “I delight in you just the same! Come and sit with Me. Check my face out, is there anything new? And you would know, because you know my face. Daughter,I love to watch you discover. I love to watch you become. I love to watch you learn where not to go and turn from it. I rejoice over every piece and part of who you are because you are Mine! It is good to be your Father. I love you daughter.”

This is true for you too! You are His son or His daughter. He delights in you. He is undone by your expression. He is watching you in adoration. He wants you to know that you don’t earn this love, you are loved just because you are His. His love IS NOT contingent upon your choices. Nothing can separate you from His love. I challenge you to slow today. Slow your mind, your spirit and sit with your Father a while. Look for His face, check it out. Discover, experience, and receive His love for you. He sings over you. YOU ARE WELL LOVED in every moment, every circumstance, every place. NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING can separate you from His love for you!

 

Remember who I am!

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Yikes, realized today I made a HUGE mistake! In one moment, the enemy had me convinced that I was a loser, I was never going to make it in this life because I mess up so much. Then came hopelessness, tears, and defeat. The thoughts that followed were- I should just keep doing what I’m good at, and not chase this dream. I know what it feels like to be who I’ve been, but I am probably not going to become who I want to be, or do the things I deeply desire to do. And then BAM! A word come through a friend, ” What are you going to believe- who God says you are? Or who the enemy tries to make you believe you are? You cannot be double minded- you have to decide and declare who you are!” Man, this straightened me right up! Do you know who I am? In Christ, I AM FREE! I can dance! I can sing! I can dream. In Christ, I have no limitations, I have no lack, and ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! In Christ, I can do my best and fully expect Him to do the rest. He will be strong where I am weak, which is why He constantly calls me out of my level, out of my ability, out of my strengths, so that I HAVE to trust Him. Am I able to do everything He is leading me into- NOWAY- but am I able to step out and trust in HIm to align me with the provision, the people, the strength, open doors, and power of His spirit in me to do what I have been created to do- ABSOLUTELY! I AM AN OVERCOMER IN CHRIST JESUS! Thank You Lord for helping me overcome this battle and for using it to solidify my call and purpose! Mostly, I am Yours Lord! If you are struggling allow this testimony to give you courage to BELIEVE you are who He says you are! I believe in you!