Tag Archives: forward

Mar30

Fearlessly

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along the shore,

toes in the sand,

tickled by the tide,

Heart opened wide

And suddenly,

His gaze meets mine,

Hand extends,

“My beloved, come with Me,

And let our dance begin.

I want to show you how,

To move within the depths of Me,

Lean into the motion of my Sea,

All you have to do-

Is Look up and believe.

His rhythms, like waves, becoming mine,

His leadership, steady and constant, keep the time,

Overwhelmed by Majesty,

Connected and loved, completely

Piercing eyes, gazes locked,

Hearts and hands too,

Deeper we dance,Into the blue

When will fear come for me?

When will I sink?

When will I fail?

Questions bombard me

Fingers under chin,

Tilting my gaze back to Him,

Smiling He reassures,

“You are mine, and I’m yours”

New hope blossoms,

Confidence soars,

Going deeper still,

Away from the shore

And suddenly,

The lightning strikes,

The waves toss me to and fro,

How did I get here?

What do I think I know?

I’m stupid, ridiculous,

This wasn’t His way,

Or else I wouldn’t be drowning,

Alone and afraid.

Once more,

His eyes meet mine,

“Don’t quit now, you’re doing just fine.”

New depths reveal deeper truths

New depths require deeper roots.

This can never change,

Nothing can separate,

You are in Me, and I am in You,

No matter how shallow or deep is the blue.

So we dance.

We dance in the storm,

We dance in calm,

The steps change, as does the pace,

As do I, as I look upon His face.

He is really everything,

Everything else fades away,

He is mine! I am His!

He’s making it all new, everyday.

We dance, He leads, perfectly.

Keeping time, making space, abundantly.

Fear comes and goes, as the dance deepens,

But I keep gaining more and more of Him.

I know now, that no matter what,

Wherever He calls I will go.

He is in Me, I am in Him,

Nothing can stop us, now that I know.

“But I’m tired Lord, and overwhelmed

Just let me sink, I’m gonna let you down,”

Oh Daughter, I’ll carry you,

You can rest, we’ll make it through.

True to His word, He makes a way,

I get to dance another day.

This time with His strength,

Having none of my own,

I’m learning deep requires,

The letting go.

I let go of pride, of making my own way,

I let go of the fear of failing Him each day,

I let go of the lie that I’m all alone,

And I pick up love, true love,

Running red love, the victory,

And it is done.

I’m loved-

I’m loved and free-

I’m loved and free and clean-

I’m loved and free and clean and called.

Called to be loved.

Called to love.

His big plan and purpose for me,

To love and be loved, fearlessly.

Sep24

Rush rush rush

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Rush. Rush from wake-up to the gym. Rush from wake the kids up to get the little one  off to school. Rush from the school to back home to homeschool the bigger one. Rush to pick up the little one. Rush home to make lunch. Rush to have “quality time” before nap time. Oh, I have to work during nap time, rush to get that all set up. Oops, the house is a wreck, quick quick, hurry hurry, clean it up before anyone comes. Rush to clean up after work, and then to get them fed. Laundry, oh theres always laundry. Did you really just spill the entire container of ____________. No we don’t glue that to walls! Now where is my magic eraser? Little brother has a stinky diaper. Is this day over yet? Wait, now I have to prepare for tomorrow. Rush to get it all ready. Rush to fall asleep so I don’t start tomorrow tired.

Rush. Somehow, it has become my lifestyle and I did not even notice the switch. You see, I am not a natural rusher. I like to go slow and take my time. Like so slow, and usually in the left lane, and I make rushing people even more stressed than they were. (It’s ok if you hate me a little more now. I get how bad that habit is. I’m in process people!) Usually, I allow things to go undone so I can cherish the people in front of me (because like all of you incredible multitasking women,God did not give me that gene.) I tend to play on the floor with my kids, create art, build towers, play silly games, and be in the moments. This is the only way I know to be.

But something happened this week. My husband took my older child with him, so I did not have to rush home and get school started. I dropped my little curly headed cutie off, said my, “Good Morning, how are you,” to all the women I wished I had time to get to know, and began rushing back to my vehicle. That’s when the Holy Spirit nudged me, “Where are you rushing to?” I literally just stopped walking, and realized, I had no where to be. (Sure I could always find plenty to do, but nothing I particularly HAD to do at a certain time.) He continued, “Go back to that woman you wished you had time to get to know, and see how she is doing.” So I did, and we had breakfast,and we cried a little (maybe I cried a lot) and it was like finding hidden treasure. I began to ask the question, “Jesus, what’s with this rushing stuff?

He gave me this acronym:

R-esisting

U-seful

S-tillness

H-abitually

He began to show me that He has been trying to teach me to be, “Patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.” Well I’m learning that to me, trouble is anything that feels dangerous because it’s out of my control, which happens to be (ahem) L-I-F-E. So be patient in life, and always be prayerful? He began to show me that rushing through all that has to get done, is a (dangerous) way of coping with the fear that you will fail at it all. He began surrounding me with women who were feeling led of the Lord to “remove a plate,” in their lives so they too, could slow, and release the overwhelm a little. So the next question was a simple, natural progression: What is stillness then?

S-avoring

T-ime

I-nstead of

L-osing

L-ife

So now I’m returning to the land of allowing the Holy Spirit to have control over my moments. I have a plan, but its flexible. Lord, here is what I think I’m doing today and who I am doing it with and for, but You get to write this story. In the midst of these important pieces being handled, if You want to send me help, help me to accept it. If You have a divine interruption, help me to recognize it and let go of my control. If I can let go of something to be more available to my moments, show me and give me the courage I need to lay it down. Help me to let go of the notion of failure/success like those are my only two options. Help me to see, admit, and embrace, that it’s always both. I’m growing, I’m becoming, and that is beautiful.

So friend, I’m not sure if rushing has snuck its way into your life too, but I want to encourage you to ask the Lord. Ask Him to show you where you are missing the beautiful in order to not fail. Or if you are being drained dry anywhere and He wants to fill you up. Maybe see if you need to slow and learn the relief of stillness. I am actually being amazed by how much more I “accomplish” when my rhythm and pace matches the Lord’s. There is no life to be found where He isn’t present, so I’m officially done trying to race ahead of Him. Join me?

Dec9

Which invitation will you say yes to?

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Lately, the Lord has been revealing to me how each interaction and set of circumstances is simply an invitation. I get invited to be offended. I get invited to love in the midst of adversity. I get invited to be afraid. I get invited to trust God. I get invited to join in celebrated. I get invited to feel alone. I get invited to love. I get invited to hate. I get invited to life. I get invited to death.

So, as a result of this sort of simplistic yet powerful revelation, I have found myself more often than not, evaluating what I am being invited to. When I see that the invitation is to engage in a hate filled, death breeding word battle- I am starting to be empowered to simply RSVP not attending.   When I recognize I am being invited to be stretched beyond my self-imposed limits and all my senses are screaming YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL- I, timidly, RSVP that yes I choose to attend. When I recognize I have two invitations in the same set of circumstances, I am trying to be intentional on choosing the one which leads to life.

Let’s dig deeper into  this life and death talk. Life-giving thoughts are thoughts that agree with the heart of God towards you and/or others. Our thoughts eventually become our words, and our words usually become our actions. Death breeding thoughts are any thoughts that are less than or against what God says about you or others. What we come into agreement with eventually we bring into our reality.

Matthew 12:34-35New International Version (NIV)

34 …….. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

Ephesians 4:29New King James Version (NKJV)

29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Proverbs 18:21New King James Version (NKJV)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Agreeing with God- through believing He is who He says He is- and can do what He says He can do, brings life. Anything less than that- truly brings a slow, miserable death. Kind of harsh- or just kind of simple? Perhaps both- you get to decide.

So when I am invited to justify my emotional decisions- and stay stuck in that destructive cycle- I know now that I am empowered to simply state that I will not come to that party. I can choose instead to RSVP yes to take responsibility for my decisions and seek out the Lord’s best for my life, find out his constructive cycle and then begin intentionally living that out. When I am invited to have an opinion about an organization or another individual based on my limited understanding or personal perspective, I can choose to say no to that invitation and instead choose to seek the Lord and ask for His thoughts on that person or organization and choose to agree with His heart.

Most recently, both of my children have been very ill. I have had MANY invitations to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and completely unfit for the tasks before me. Sure, maybe the first few days I had a great attitude and a can-do spirit, but by day five and six, when the symptoms had reached their height and I was exhausted and felt like I was somehow failing them-I recognized that those thoughts were an invitation to be distracted from doing the task I was entrusted with and I RSVP’d NO! I chose instead to reach out and ask others to encourage me and pray for me so I could be enabled, by His strength and power and Spirit, to continue on.

I feel this message is for more than just me- and in my totally exhausted state I fear I may not have articulated it as well as I would have liked- I pray that somehow the Lord uses these words to challenge you, and to continue challenging me, to consider where we are allowing ourselves to go, and on the flip side- where are we inviting others?

Sep4

Step out of control and into love.

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I heard this from the Father’s heart recently and I was re-reading it today to find new strength and encouragement. I then felt deeply led to share it with all of you. He is calling us up and out; way beyond our own strengths, abilities, and even imaginations. WE NEED EACH OTHER! I pray these words bring life and clarity in your voyage with Him!

Love,

Jenna

 

You are so beautiful! You are so loved. SO valued and cherished. I can see all that is right about you! I want to tell you of all of your strengths and teach you how to strengthen them. You were not created to be good at everything. Others can fill in the gaps. I specifically designed my Body to need one another. It is all about love- all about relationships. You are currently still learning how to ask for help. It is a process- but all that self-sufficiency that was instilled in you is slowly draining out of your self-proclaimed identity. 
 
Where you are headed, you are going to need help. As you step out with Me further- there will be much void in the places you have filled up until now- and those holes are not meant to stretch you too thin- they are meant for you to delegate, to trust, to lean on others. The holes that you aren’t designed to fill- there are specific others who are- this will teach you more about loving without being in control. It’s not going to go your way- that isn’t what is important- it is going to go My way.
Apr26

Denial- it hurts everyone involved

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This is just a quick word on denial- and the scriptures to overcome the desire to “escape” into it! Praying this blesses someone- as the Word of God has and continues to dramatically alter and upgrade my life!

The absolute first step to overcoming denial is to admit what is happening is actually happening and stop pretending like nothing ‘really bad’ is going on. The need for denial is a self-protection mechanism which gives a lie to the person, “this is too big for you- there is nothing you can do anyways- in order to keep the ‘peace’ just keep quiet.”

But here is what is true- nothing is too hard for God- for with Him all things are possible- and there is hope in the blood that was shed for us. There is no peace outside of the Prince of Peace. We begin overcoming the need to escape into denial (which actually hurts everyone you are trying to protect) when we invite our Prince of Peace into the chaos. When we seek Him for wisdom- when we surrender our need to control the outcome because we know we can trust Him ultimately- but we cannot really trust ourselves. We can trust in His ways because He is God and we are not- and His ways are higher- taking His road always gives us an upgrade- we become more like Him. We can speak the truth of God’s Word in the Authority we have been given in Christ Jesus to the father of lies- and at the very name of Jesus, he has to flee. The only ground the enemy can take in our lives, and of those we have loved, is where we come into agreement with the message he is speaking. To break free we must make agreements with God’s Kingdom, with what is true, and break agreements and actions that follow with the kingdom of darkness. This is a process. But denial- is a lie- rooted in fear of loss. Any fear means we have not allowed God’s love to come into that place and we are still grasping for control.

We have an enemy-it is satan- not each other.

Ephesians 6:12

New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Light and Darkness cannot co-habitat. 
1 John 1:5-9   
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
We need God to show us our transgressions, daily.
Psalm 139:23-24
New Living Translation (NLT)
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
   and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
We can discern the condition of our hearts by the fruit of our life. 
Galatians 5: 16-26 Living by the Spirit’s Power
16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.
When He reveals darkness, we can confess and repent and be cleansed and restored to righteousness.
1 John 1:9
New Living Translation (NLT)
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
We then are free to love, because He first loved us- undeservingly.
1 John 4:16-20
16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[b] because he loved us first.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister,[c] that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.[d]
We show this love by knowing we are not better than anyone- we are simply In Christ, and we work in love to bring one another to the understanding of who they are in Christ.
Philippians 2:3-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
We understand that our enemy is the father or lies and wants nothing more than to bring destruction.
John 8:42-50
New Living Translation (NLT)
42 Jesus told them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, because I have come to you from God. I am not here on my own, but he sent me. 43 Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! 44 For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me! 46 Which of you can truthfully accuse me of sin? And since I am telling you the truth, why don’t you believe me? 47 Anyone who belongs to God listens gladly to the words of God. But you don’t listen because you don’t belong to God.”
48 The people retorted, “You Samaritan devil! Didn’t we say all along that you were possessed by a demon?”
49 “No,” Jesus said, “I have no demon in me. For I honor my Father—and you dishonor me. 50 And though I have no wish to glorify myself, God is going to glorify me. He is the true judge.
We overcome satan by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Revelation 12:11
New Living Translation (NLT)
11 And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
   and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much
   that they were afraid to die.
And we lay down our flesh, pick up our cross, follow Jesus, and agree with His heart which is that none should perish, but ALL would have everlasting life in Christ Jesus!
Matthew 16:24-27
New Living Translation (NLT)
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 25 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 26 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?[a] Is anything worth more than your soul? 27 For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds.
2 Peter 3:9
Amplified Bible (AMP)
9 The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.
So our lives journey and every aspect of it should align with our call to GO and make disciples of all nations- and to Love God and love others!
Matthew 28:19
New Living Translation (NLT)
19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,[a]baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 22:36-40
New Living Translation (NLT)
36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
And we must understand in the new covenant what Jesus defines as murder, adultery etc. It is all about where our heart is- which is conceived in the mind.
Matthew 5:21-22
Amplified Bible (AMP)
21 You have heard that it was said to the men of old, You shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be [a]liable to andunable to escape the punishment imposed by the court.
22 But I say to you that everyone who continues to be[b]angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be [c]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be [d]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You [e]cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be[f]liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire.
Knowing this- and our sin nature- we are to commit to the constant renewing of our mind to become like Christ- to be able to fulfill the call to love.
Romans 12:2
Amplified Bible (AMP)
2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Amplified Bible (AMP)
3 For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
5 [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories andreasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
And as we do this, we will be quick to repent, and quick to forgive others. This is the only way to live- the only true life. Everything outside of the Word of God is rooted in fear, pride, or denial.

WE CAN OVERCOME! We do not have to be defined by the way we have always done things. We can choose today to break the destructive cycles and replace them with constructive cycles and move FORWARD! And trust me- every small step in the right direction leads to the world changing! And God loves the world! He said you were worth it- believe Him- I do!

Mar12

Be patient and pray……

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Morning:
New Scripture to memorize: Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! (Romans 12:12-16 NLT)

Today’s Focus: Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

The other day I woke up so weary, so heavy-laden, and downtrodden about some current circumstances in my life. I woke up trying to think of how I could fix it, what could be a possible solution, what could I do to cause the others to see the truth? In trying to figure it out on my own, I quickly felt hopeless and defeated. And then the Lord gave me this (see above) scripture. I was to first of all rejoice in Jesus- which took my focus off of me and my understanding. The next step was to be patient.

Is this hard for anyone but me? I want to see things resolved. I want to see a resolution reached and everyone come into agreement somehow and be able to move forward in harmony. I do not LIKE having situations that are not figured out and filed away. YUCK! But the Lord was saying to me- it’s not the time or the season- you have to be patient.

But what is awesome about this verse is we see scripturally that being patient is NOT a passive stance- we are called to be patient AND keep on praying. So I chose His way yet again. I laid down my sense of urgency- I decided to trust in Him and His timing and keep praying for the perfect will of God to be done in this set of circumstances.

You know what? I didn’t get what I wanted out of that process- I wanted resolve- but I got MORE- I found Jesus, and His ways, and another portion of His love for me.

Today will you join me? Will you ask Him to show you where you are trying to hasten His pace? Will you choose Him and His ways? Will you keep praying and choose not to try to FORCE your agenda to happen? It will go well for you if you wait upon the Lord!

Jesus, waiting and waiting patiently is something we cannot do without YOU! Lord, I want to experience every last drop of what You created me for- and I praise You for intercepting my destructive cycles with Your word and Your instruction which brings life. I choose to go Your way and live on Your path. I need more of You Jesus- I need more of You. I love you Lord and today I choose to freely receive all of Your love, protection, blessings, and goodness into my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!

Mar2

Been stuck…but trying again.

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Hello Friends! In the face of accusation, I was believing I had nothing worth while to bring and further more that my life wasn’t worthy of being shared and if I’m not even received well by those who have known me the longest, then perhaps I should just be quiet.

But do you know what the Lord showed me? He showed me how Jesus wasn’t even received by those who had known Him the longest. In His own hometown, He could not be free to be His truest self because the familiarity of “knowing” Him kept the people from seeing the real Him. WOW!

The Lord also showed me how Hannah was tormented by someone in her world and it would often reduce her to tears and keep her from eating. Rejection and accusation hurt- but they only get to define us if we come into agreement the message which is trying to convince us that we are less than the Lord says we are.

Thankfully, I serve a greater authority than any other man- I serve Jesus. Jesus gets to define who I am. Although it is difficult- any time I begin to ponder on what these other people have spoken over me (which has silenced my voice for over a month as I have struggled deeply to discern what was true) I have to release them to the Lord and pray that His blessings, His love, and His kindness would be upon them. And then I ask Him to speak to me, yet again, of who He says I am.

One particular night, after an extremely troubling encounter full of accusation which brought deep sadness and heaviness to my heart, I asked the Lord to speak over me all night long who I am to Him. The first thing I heard were the words to this song:

You’re My Beloved, You’re My Bride, To Sing over You is My Delight, Come Away with Me My Love.

I sing over you my song of peace,Cast all your care down at my feet ,Come and find your rest in me

I’ll breathe my life inside of you, I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings, And hide you in the shadow of my strength

I’ll take you to my quiet waters ,I’ll restore your soul, Come rest in me and be made whole.

And I was lost, yet again, in His love. My soul needed restoring, and I was weak and hurt and vulnerable, and the only place I could feel safe was in the shadow of His strength. I needed so desperately to know I was His and that He STILL delights in me, even though others express utter disgust with me. Do you see how powerful it is to bring your wounded places to the heart of the One who can heal them? Do you see how differently I may feel about the ones who are currently accusing, rejecting, and hurting me if I couldn’t turn to Jesus and ask them to bless, love, and heal them also?

Friends, my mind wants to take control- my thinker wants to defend myself, to lash back and PROVE that I am not any of the things they are saying I am- but what did Jesus do when He was being attacked- He shook the dust off of His feet and kept moving. He blessed and loved and kept His eyes fixed on the Father, staying in His will. He was not delayed, distracted, or defeated by any who did not receive Him, He simply kept focusing on the ones who did.

Although, my heart is still hurting, I am receiving this season of conflict as an opportunity to upgrade my response and to become more like Jesus. And I would love to encourage you today, that if you are being misunderstood, or accusation is being hurled in your direction, or if you are sharing in any of the sufferings of Jesus, accept the opportunity for upgrade. Keep your eyes fixed on Him who is the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and release those who are hurting you to the Lord believing HIs goodness and kindness will minister to their wounded places which are ultimately trying to wound you also. He is always the way!

Jan6

We are beginning!

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Don’t forget this year we embark on a journey to intentionally memorize and live out the Word of God by focusing on the same scripture at least three times a day.
You can find this journey on my coaching page on Facebook, or on my coaching website. Please join us. We can literally change the world and reach the nations by being LOVE to the world on purpose!

Here is the first step:

Good Morning and Happy Monday!
We are about to begin Morning, Noon, and Night- a journey into memorizing and living out the Word of God! I AM SO EXCITED! This has been on my heart to do for about 5 years!

First things first, how do you memorize scripture?
I have a few ways that work for me- but you can try or suggest to the rest of us any ways that work for you.

1)I read it every day and say it out loud.
2) I write it on my bathroom mirror and read it while I’m getting ready.
3)After I’m more familiar, I close my eyes and begin trying to say it without looking.
4) Write it on a notecard and look at it whenever I have a second.
5) I ask the Lord to hide it in my heart and allow it to become a part of who I am.

Let’s begin that way today. Our first section of scripture is on Love, and it comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.

Sep25

Do we protect our wounds?

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I was chatting with a friend the other day about how many people I run into who want to “face their giants” or start “unpacking their baggage” and yet even though commitment is made, when the time draws near, they run as fast as they can in the other direction.

I personally have been working through stuff since my early 20’s. When we are kids, and stuff happens, we draw conclusions about each memory and how it defines us. The problem is when you are a child, you have a child’s mind. Often times, the conclusions we have drawn and attached to our identity are incorrect, and yet we walk into adulthood with a skewed perspective and a wounded heart and spirit.

Then, most unfortunately, we continue to live out of this wounded perspective and wound others with our words, selfishness, and actions that are all in the name of protecting our wounds.

Jesus came that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He came to set the captives free and heal the wounded. But most of us declare with our actions that we don’t want what He offers. We declare, even though I am wounded, I know how to be this way. I am afraid of the healing process because it would be unfamiliar to be free.

My friend described it like this to me: A woman broke her hand off, but was so afraid of what the surgery might do to her, that she just covered it up, and started doing everything with her other hand. And although it completely limited her ability and caused her much pain, she knew what it felt like to have a wounded hand, and she knew how to operate around it, and she just assumed this was how her life turned out.

SO MANY OF US ARE WALKING AROUND WITH COVERED UP WOUNDS. We have learned how to operate around that wound and have just accepted that this is the way it is going to be! PLEASE STOP! You DO NOT have to have a limited experience of life. There is hope for healing.

Speaking from personal experience, when I was in my early 20’s a close friend asked me, “You have a lot of baggage, and the question is, are you going to unload it now and enjoy life at a higher capacity, or are you going to carry it around with you and let it hold you back and drag you down for the rest of your life?” When it was phrased like that, I knew the choice was obvious, “Let’s face this stuff!”

My experience of healing is perpetual. Hard life stuff flies at us ALL of the time. We are constantly needing to process painful things with the perspective of love. I CANNOT PROCESS with the perspective of love when I am deeply wounded. Like it or not, my main job becomes protecting my wound at any cost. I hurt others when I am wounded.

So, I am writing this today in an attempt to love you. When I am set free, I am free to love, honor, and value others right where they are at in their process. Healing is a process, it is constant, and it is worth it. Every step of the healing process produces eternal fruit that will become a blessing to everyone you encounter. It is so much bigger than you, and you so desperately need to let go of the identity of your woundedness, and say yes to the journey of becoming whole. The Lord will not leave you, you do not need to be afraid, it may not be as hard or arduous as you are imagining.

A great place to begin is just asking the Lord, “What wound in my heart am I afraid to face?” Ask Him if it is time to get some help, maybe a counselor, coach, or close friend who walks tightly with Jesus. Ask Him to help you, to give you courage, to give you strength.

Please choose today to stop adjusting to being wounded, and to start facing the hurt places and receive healing and freedom.

God is FOR YOU! He is WITH YOU! NOTHING is too hard for HIM! and YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Lord Jesus, we need you now more than ever before. Come, draw near, and illuminate our hurting places that we have attached  identity to. Lord, help us to catch a glimpse of what it can be like to live in wholeness, to allow you to heal our brokenness. Lord, I ask that you supernaturally give us courage to take one small step towards healing today. When we want to run away, teach us how to turn back to you and stay the course which you are calling us to. We admit that we need you, and we are terrified of what we may find, and yet I hear you whisper that we do not need to be afraid because what you have for us is better than anything we can imagine. Lord, I choose you, not any other identity, today! I love you Jesus, and it is in your name we pray! Amen!

Aug30

Found in Him

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For the past nine weeks, the Lord has been asking me to wake up at 5 am to spend time with Him. I have been trying to by setting alarms, picking 2 days a week as a starting goal, going to bed a little earlier, and yet I have been totally unsuccessful. This has been incredibly frustrating and has caused such a looming sense of disappointment and failure within myself. I have even moved to have friends hold me accountable, begging them please pray that I can do this, I want to do this, but there seems to be some major disconnect, and it’s not happening. I mean, the God of ALL CREATION wants to meet with ME and I cannot get myself out of bed!!!!!!!!! When you ask people who are crazy about Jesus and they love the Jesus in you to pray, crazy ( and awesome) stuff starts happening!

On Sunday, during worship, I had this vision on Jesus and I. It was like no other experience I have EVER had. Him and I were laying on a picnic blanket together. We were sharing secrets. My head was on His chest and I could feel and hear His heart beating. I was so safe, so captivated by His presence, and nothing else mattered. It was like He was saying, ” You and I have been best friends for so long, but I want to move into a deeper relationship. I want to reveal more of myself to you. I am desiring for you to love me fully and give your whole self over. Will you let go of control and really allow yourself to fall into my love?” To be honest, this was so different than any interaction I have ever had with the Lord. But it stirred up the deepest places in me that I didn’t even know were there. I had those crazy emotions I did when my husband and I were just getting to know each other. There is excitement and anticipation and this longing to be together more. I felt so seen, so vulnerable, so pursued, so loved.

And then…….I pushed away.

Have you ever had this experience? Where you have this deep, vulnerable moment with someone and it’s amazing and then just a few hours later, you are feeling so exposed, so uncomfortable, so seen, that the reaction is to pull away so you can go back into hiding? That is how I have been treating Jesus. So He took this opportunity to reveal to me my fear of fulling allowing His love to carry me away. He has been revealing how much I am holding on for dear life and allowing the river to rush by and  the current is brutal because I am clinging to the wrong rock and getting beat up. He is asking me to let go, and to go all in with the current of His rushing river of life. He is showing me that I do not have to know where I end up, how I get there, or what it all looks like, I just have to know Him.

I must confess: I am AFRAID. He has revealed that I AM AFRAID TO BE FULLY KNOWN OR SEEN.

Yesterday I had someone come over sort of unexpectedly and my house was not at peak performance, it was more in it’s natural, lived in, state. I felt exposed and honestly looking for disapproval, or rejection, or surprise but I found none of that, I only found acceptance. The Lord showed me later in the day that I often clean up before I am seen. I only like to show what looks put together, shiny, clean, everything in it’s place. I do not like the messy to be made known. I shared this later with my friend who replied, ” I do not want you to have to clean up any part of you before you can share it with me. I love you right where you are at.”

I AM LOVED IN EVERY STATE. I can be fully known, fully seen, in any condition and still be loved and accepted. I am not sure if this is as strong for you as it is for me, but until a few days ago I did not even know I was hiding. Because I love the Lord, and I want to know Him more. Because I love you all and am willing to say what He asks me to say for your benefit- I am choosing to be seen, exposed, vulnerable. I am choosing to become more genuine, transparent, real. I am afraid to be seen, but I LONG to be seen.

In the vision I spoke of earlier, I saw myself fully melt into Jesus. You could no longer see me, just Him. It was the safest I’d ever felt and the most real image I’ve ever seen of who I want to be. That is my deepest desire; that I would be found in Him. So I have made a decision. I’m letting go of control, here and now. Loosening my grip on the pretty and perfect and choosing the real, the genuine, the messy. Where will this lead? I am not sure, but Jesus is who I Am following, will you join me?

P.S. a little progress to celebrate- it is 5:02 am and I am about to publish this post! Praise the Lord, I have broken through!