So conflict- it can be a beautiful thing when surrendered to God and genuinely handled with love. However, not matter who you are, if conflict arises between you and another, and you choose to look at yourself or others without having/keeping love on- you are opening yourself and the relationship up to an onslaught of attack from our enemy.
Any area in our hearts that is left wounded and untended to will ultimately be exposed when any conflict arises and even gets close to that old wound. The messages of lies that cause those wounds to remain get louder and the new conflict chimes in perfect harmony with all those old messages.
If somewhere inside of you, there is a lie that says you are too much and no one could ever really handle to real you- and someone says gently and kindly, “Hey, how you said that things kind of rubbed me the wrong way,” you will hear- I can’t handle the way you are and you should be different than how you really are.
I could go on and on and on with examples, but here is the truth. We are all in process and NONE OF US have the ability to get it right 100% of the time. We need to extend grace, and hope that when it’s our turn, grace will be extended to us. We all have old wounds, and conflict can be God’s way of bringing that thing to your attention and showing you that now is the time to begin to work through those lies and find out what God says is true about you in that place. We then can replace the lie, with a scripture, and then when the attack comes back, we say “NO! That is not true! God says…..” This is a simple, extremely effective and powerful way to combat the lied of the enemy.
Here is the scripture the Lord gave me recently in the midst of conflict that I was overreacting to because of my wounded places- I could tell there was more pain, more reaction, more yuck than needed, and I knew that I needed healing- but in the moment I could not find that place- I cried out to the Lord and He gave me this word:
Amplified Bible (AMP)
15 And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
WOW! Applying this truth changed my entire state- my whole atmosphere. Let me break it down how He shared it with me.
1) Peace is to UMPIRE your heart when any questions arise.
I knew I was currently not in peace, and that I could not come up with any conclusions about any truth about myself until I reentered a peaceful state.
2) To get there, be thankful, appreciative, and begin giving praise to God.
I would not be able to enter into a peaceful state, to begin to draw true conclusions until I took the magnifying glass off of my conflict and it’s pain, and chose to magnify God and how AWESOME AND MIGHTY He is! I began thanking Him for who He is, and all He has done, and out of that- praise was a natural progression. I spent time worshipping Him with my voice, and my mind slowed, and I was able to see from His perspective and recognize those lies that were trying to reattach themselves to my identity were just that, lies. I was able to trust that what God has said is truer than anything I was currently feeling, and I could respond in love out of the place of remembering how loved I am.
Furthermore, through this loving conflict, the Lord has brought to light a few areas I need to be allowing Him to prune off of me. He has given me a few new strategies to protect relationships and shown me some false protections I have been trusting in which is actually hurting me. This conflict, although seemingly came out of nowhere, has been incredibly fruitful and I know the fruit I can see is only the beginning.
So, I urge you today to love others enough to choose not to side step conflict when it needs to happen. Love them enough to be real with them when their actions hurt you, or perhaps seem contrary to their witness. Conflict is not something to be avoided so we can all live in false harmony, love actually says, “Hey, this seem off.” Pray before hand for the Lord to prepare both of your hearts and that nothing spoken gets miscommunicated and that if in your heart there is any motivation other than love, that He would first deal with you and bring your spirit into perfect alignment with His. And then seek Him for the timing and wait upon Him trusting that He is working it all out.
Consider this- the Lord has never and will never do anything out of any motivation other than love- He is love- He is constant- and He is for you. He will never lead you astray! You can TRUST HIM!