Tag Archives: wholeness

Feb6

Heavenly Exchange

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From one moment,

Into the next,

From everything’s fine,

To can’t find my breath

Suddenly

It’s all too loud

All too tight

All too close

Nothing is right.

No warning, no alarm,

No chance to prepare,

One second I’m with “good”

Next, “anxiety,” you’re here.

My brain shuts down,

Along with my peace,

Along with my ability,

To meet the moment’s needs

Am I safe?

Am I safe?

Am I safe?

That question never changes.

What I choose next,

Says where the story goes,

Do I look out or up?

To what I feel, or to what I know?

I feel totally exhausted,

I know You’re my strength,

I feel all closed in,

I know you’re my spacious place.

I feel like nothing ever changes,

I know you make all things news,

I feel like it’s all hopeless,

But I choose to put my hope in You.

Eyes up once more,

Rise up yet again,

My heartbeat slows,

My chest can finally expand.

Peace trickles in,

Displacing the panic,

One clear thought begins to form,

Replacing the manic.

Breathe in,

Spinning slows down

Breathe out,

Vision starts to clear.

Breathe in,

I am safe.

Breathe out,

You are here.

This is beyond, though the war wages.

This is beyond, this battle was won.

This is beyond, You rescued me.

It’s what You do, what You’ve always done.

So I show up and shout I love You!

You are a faithful, wonderful friend!

Yes! You are my beyond all in all,

United with You, I begin again.

Oct7

Hurting people

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Yesterday the Lord showed me the the epidemic of how “hurting people,” inevitably go around hurting people. When we are wounded, if we do not seek healing or wholeness, all of our perception, perspective, and response will come through a filter attached to our wounded places. We will wound others, which in turn, makes us hate ourselves even more, and it just gets uglier and uglier. In my heart, I can feel the Lord’s burden to break this cycle so that the generations to come do not suffer from the wounds you and I are carrying now. I can feel His pain for every single hurting person in the whole entire world. He LOVES every single person, in every nation, in this whole world He created. He desires to set every single person free. He want to break EVERY chain that is binding us from becoming everything He created us to be. If you are hurting, He wants to make to whole. You are worth investing in. You are worth the time and effort it takes to walk through the healing process. You are worth the fight. You are loved, cherished, valued, and one of a kind. There is no other person alive who can fill the purposes for which He created you for. He lavishly loves you with a love that will never fail. He gave it all for you. If you are weary, wounded, hurting, and just feel like you are too broken to be fixed, know this: There is no “too broken” for God. Nothing is too big, too hard, or impossible for Him. Your circumstances, the condition of your heart, your pain will not surprise Him- He has walked with you every step of the way already. Turn to Him, offer Him your broken heart, no matter how many pieces it is in, and then say yes, say yes continually, the the beautiful process with Him to find healing, wholeness, and purpose, driven by a response to being so fully loved. He is with you. He is for you. His love will conquer all. You can trust HIm! You are lovable and lovely! Today is the day! He cares for you!

Sep25

Do we protect our wounds?

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I was chatting with a friend the other day about how many people I run into who want to “face their giants” or start “unpacking their baggage” and yet even though commitment is made, when the time draws near, they run as fast as they can in the other direction.

I personally have been working through stuff since my early 20’s. When we are kids, and stuff happens, we draw conclusions about each memory and how it defines us. The problem is when you are a child, you have a child’s mind. Often times, the conclusions we have drawn and attached to our identity are incorrect, and yet we walk into adulthood with a skewed perspective and a wounded heart and spirit.

Then, most unfortunately, we continue to live out of this wounded perspective and wound others with our words, selfishness, and actions that are all in the name of protecting our wounds.

Jesus came that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He came to set the captives free and heal the wounded. But most of us declare with our actions that we don’t want what He offers. We declare, even though I am wounded, I know how to be this way. I am afraid of the healing process because it would be unfamiliar to be free.

My friend described it like this to me: A woman broke her hand off, but was so afraid of what the surgery might do to her, that she just covered it up, and started doing everything with her other hand. And although it completely limited her ability and caused her much pain, she knew what it felt like to have a wounded hand, and she knew how to operate around it, and she just assumed this was how her life turned out.

SO MANY OF US ARE WALKING AROUND WITH COVERED UP WOUNDS. We have learned how to operate around that wound and have just accepted that this is the way it is going to be! PLEASE STOP! You DO NOT have to have a limited experience of life. There is hope for healing.

Speaking from personal experience, when I was in my early 20’s a close friend asked me, “You have a lot of baggage, and the question is, are you going to unload it now and enjoy life at a higher capacity, or are you going to carry it around with you and let it hold you back and drag you down for the rest of your life?” When it was phrased like that, I knew the choice was obvious, “Let’s face this stuff!”

My experience of healing is perpetual. Hard life stuff flies at us ALL of the time. We are constantly needing to process painful things with the perspective of love. I CANNOT PROCESS with the perspective of love when I am deeply wounded. Like it or not, my main job becomes protecting my wound at any cost. I hurt others when I am wounded.

So, I am writing this today in an attempt to love you. When I am set free, I am free to love, honor, and value others right where they are at in their process. Healing is a process, it is constant, and it is worth it. Every step of the healing process produces eternal fruit that will become a blessing to everyone you encounter. It is so much bigger than you, and you so desperately need to let go of the identity of your woundedness, and say yes to the journey of becoming whole. The Lord will not leave you, you do not need to be afraid, it may not be as hard or arduous as you are imagining.

A great place to begin is just asking the Lord, “What wound in my heart am I afraid to face?” Ask Him if it is time to get some help, maybe a counselor, coach, or close friend who walks tightly with Jesus. Ask Him to help you, to give you courage, to give you strength.

Please choose today to stop adjusting to being wounded, and to start facing the hurt places and receive healing and freedom.

God is FOR YOU! He is WITH YOU! NOTHING is too hard for HIM! and YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Lord Jesus, we need you now more than ever before. Come, draw near, and illuminate our hurting places that we have attached  identity to. Lord, help us to catch a glimpse of what it can be like to live in wholeness, to allow you to heal our brokenness. Lord, I ask that you supernaturally give us courage to take one small step towards healing today. When we want to run away, teach us how to turn back to you and stay the course which you are calling us to. We admit that we need you, and we are terrified of what we may find, and yet I hear you whisper that we do not need to be afraid because what you have for us is better than anything we can imagine. Lord, I choose you, not any other identity, today! I love you Jesus, and it is in your name we pray! Amen!