Tag Archives: pride

Captured in His Love

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I am sitting in a hotel room by the ocean, balcony door opened and I can hear the waves. The incredible aroma of the salty air is clearing my senses and I am at peace. My babe is sleeping in the same room, and I give thanks in these moments. I give thanks that I have quiet space. I give thanks that I have crazy chaos, because one of the most amazing joys of my life is being the mother to my children. But what I am being overwhelmed with in these moments is how thankful I am that I know my God. I mean I intimately know the One who created the ocean I am being lulled by. How can this be?

I know Him, and He knows me. I know Him and He knows me and we spend time exploring the depths of each other. This love. This love is undoing all that I have done. It is unleashing all that I am. It is healing, moving, leading, guiding, correcting, providing, and enjoying me- the fullness of who I am is truly found in I AM. He is the One who my heart beats for, the One who I long for, the One who see me and completely knows me and yet somehow is still drawn towards me. This must be too wonderful to imagine, to great to comprehend- this must be something I can only receive. As I drink deep of the affections from the heart of my God- I am humbled and in awe of His beauty, His majesty.I am blown away by the gentleness of His fierceness. I am undone. I’ve come unglued. All the glue that held any of me together trying to convince me that I was at all in control of all of this life thing- has been melted in the fire of His great, pure, passionate pursuit of my whole self.

Somehow when I am washed in the coolness and fire of His presence- none of me wants to be in control. All of me wants to be found in Him. I long to move, to breathe in perfect unity with Him. I long that my heart would become more like HIs. I yearn to walk in beat with HIs symphony about me. Who is this God? I’ve been discovering Him for so long and yet somehow feel like I’ve barely scraped the surface. Oh but I want to know more. I am desperate to know more. I need more of Him to continue on. I simply can’t be without Him. He is life to me.

Somewhere between the waves and the birds singing to one another-I hear a voice of correction. Daughter, don’t you know you are worth the interruption? Don’t you know you matter as much as the ones you serve? Don’t you believe that all I say about you is true? Why then, why do you treat your own needs as less than important? Why do you not ask Me to help, or give others the opportunity to help you? As I share this with some trusted- I hear a warning- that is really a form of pride.

Then in the quiet contemplative place- I remember. I remember the marching orders given to me in a previous space and time- the call was only to rest, trust, and worship. To live, and move, serve, give, love and be only out of that place. How did I so soon forget- again. Rest, trust worship- first. Give thanks. Ask for help. Rejoice and again I say rejoice.

As the waves steadily roll in, and the fog lays heavy, I remember-again. I remember the stillness is where I see Him. I remember the calm, the sweet place of trusting even though no circumstance has yet shifted- is where I declare who is my Lord- He is. He is the One I trust. He is the One who does not change nor disappoint. I can trust the Only who is constant always. Oh and as my gaze yet again is filled with Him- I cannot help but to worship Him. Oh He is Majestic, Beautiful, Worthy. My legs go weak. I find my knees bent and my eyes spilling over whenever I behold Him. He is. Oh He is- alive and near and within and over. He is all. He is my all in all. I love Him so.

I see myself reflected in His eyes as He behinds me too. I didn’t know I looked like that? I didn’t know I was made of that! I didn’t know I could become that! I didn’t know I was so desperate. I didn’t know I was so needy. And yet- my portion is the One who I am looking upon and enjoying being with. My needs are filled, my soul is resurrected, and my journey has become secondary again to the One who I journey with. It is Him- it has always been Him. I am His and He is mine.

O Lord- help me. Help me to always place You in Your rightful place.Help me to see myself as Your see me. Help me to ask for help. Help me to ask for everything I need. I enjoy You- oh Lover of my soul. I enjoy your essence, I enjoy being Your reflection. And my heart is so desperate for more of You. I humbly bow low before you and cry out for more of You.You gently lift my head and pour out all of you into all of me again Filled to be emptied and filled again. I need You Lord. I want more of You. I just love You so. My Jesus, My King, My love. it is You- first- always You.

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Beautiful Rejection

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Strange title? Maybe- but perhaps it will all come together.

These last two years, I have been facing waves of rejection that have sought to take me out, silence my voice, and cause me to believe that I am not who God says I am. No doubt- this rejection has come from sources that are most painful- the ones you would consider “closest and dearest”. We have an enemy, who is intimidated by anyone who seeks to do the Father’s will, and will stop at nothing to either destroy or distract you from staying on that path.

Here is what I am learning: Jesus- our sweet Jesus- loved in the face of rejection- even unto His death. He never wasted time considering why He was being rejected, for He knew full well that they were rejecting the One who sent Him. Jesus- blessed and prayed for those who persecuted Him, but never once took a victim’s stance. He never took His eyes off of His Father, and kept choosing to remain in communion with the Father, knowing that would be the only way He could fulfill His purpose and to be certain that He was about the Father’s business.

In every event in our lives- we have a choice to make- do I make it about me? Or do I allow the Lord to use it to make me more like Him? Rejection- it is beautiful- solely because as I take it to Him, place it at His feet, and ask Him to work it together for good- I find my heart being purified of pride. I find that the places where I have so longed to gain this person’s approval, or to be “seen” or “known” by others as this or that- those tendencies are dwindling away. Why? Because the more man rejects me- the more forced and desperate I am to find out how God accepts me. Friends, He accepts me, accepts you- FULLY- and how incredible is that truth when we see it in it’s entirety. He accepts fully who He knows fully. None of our masks- none of our charades fool Him- and HE STILL ACCEPTS US! Beautiful is the gift of man’s rejection- because the acceptance of any person can change- but God- oh our God- He never changes.

As this rejection journey is unfolding- I am also beginning to see how rejection can be a beautiful gift even to the one who is doing the rejecting. The Lord has shown me how unnecessary it is for me to be “right” or even “understood” by the ones who have tried to squeeze me into their box of ‘who they think I should be,’ or ‘who they would be more comfortable with me being.’ He has taught me about how He is my defender- and anything I would say solely to try and defend myself would never bring resolution, but most like;y cause more damage. He has shown me how humility- admitting I’m not perfect- even though I’m also not who you are trying to say I am, can change everything. As I choose to stay humble, continue to pray, and accept His open doors in His timing, I can actually be used by Him to minister healing to the very ones who have wounded me. Beautiful- rejection can even be beautiful to the ones who have done the rejecting.

You see, if any of us has any amount of calling on our lives- we will face heaps of man’s rejection. The more we come to understand this is FOR us- and allow it, and any other challenge, to drive us to His heart- we allow Him to upgrade us, thus leaving us more prepared and equipped for that very calling. He can make anything work together FOR US- however, I am learning to be in that position, it is my choice. I choose to align myself- to follow His leading, and see from His perspective. When I don’t, whew, someone ugly rises up- with ugly thoughts, that are definitely not founded in love- more like revenge and pride. But when I lay my flesh down, pick up my cross, and ask Him to redeem this- to bring healing and restoration, and even allow me to be an instrument if He so chooses- I find myself being healed and restored in the process. The Kingdom of God is win-win. Beautiful Rejection- actually Beautiful everything, when we invite Him in.

Some practical lessons for us as we respond to those who are clearly rejecting the Christ in us:

-Be slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen. ( I could probably stop right here and spend a lifetime learning this!)

-Being understood, is separate from being able to love. ( I can love those who will NEVER get me!)

-NEVER speak from fear! It cuts off the voice of God. (Love and Fear cannot co-mingle. We are always choosing one or the other.)

-When you start to feel afraid, PRAY, and don’t make another move or say another word until you remember who you are!

-Love keeps no record of wrongs. ( This is so hard to lay down especially if we are still struggling with wanting to prove a point!)

Let’s choose to consider those who have rejected us- and be humble enough even to consider those we have rejected along the way. Can we begin to be people who really place value on what God values? He valued love- above all. He LOVED this world so much that He laid down His own life. Can we come to a place of love where what people say, do, or think about us cannot effect our love walk on the Earth?A place where we understand I am not perfect, and I do not expect anyone else to be either? But where we recognize it as a piece of the process or challenge and invite each other to come into the process of a life shaped by holiness we get through our time spent with Jesus? I know this is impossible for me on my own- but I am praying- asking- seeking- for Jesus to work this process out in my life, knowing with confidence that ALL THINGS are possible with Him. One goal, life dream, I would have would be to get to Heaven and meet my Maker and Him to say, “Daughter, you loved well.” I want to know HIS definition of love through and through and to have that response be my first response for each opportunity. He said, ” You won’t get this right every time, but that is ok. The lessons you learn from messing up are as important as getting it right.” He doesn’t expect us to be flawless- just to be seeking, teachable, and then align ourselves with the new level of truth, of love, that He gives us!

Beautiful- this gift of rejection- because it is purifying me and teaching me how to love- when it’s hard to love, a love sort of like Jesus gives to me daily, hourly, moment by moment. Oh how I long to be His reflection on the Earth- I will keep dying daily to myself and choose to let Him live- to love- through my life. Will you join me?

 

Denial- it hurts everyone involved

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This is just a quick word on denial- and the scriptures to overcome the desire to “escape” into it! Praying this blesses someone- as the Word of God has and continues to dramatically alter and upgrade my life!

The absolute first step to overcoming denial is to admit what is happening is actually happening and stop pretending like nothing ‘really bad’ is going on. The need for denial is a self-protection mechanism which gives a lie to the person, “this is too big for you- there is nothing you can do anyways- in order to keep the ‘peace’ just keep quiet.”

But here is what is true- nothing is too hard for God- for with Him all things are possible- and there is hope in the blood that was shed for us. There is no peace outside of the Prince of Peace. We begin overcoming the need to escape into denial (which actually hurts everyone you are trying to protect) when we invite our Prince of Peace into the chaos. When we seek Him for wisdom- when we surrender our need to control the outcome because we know we can trust Him ultimately- but we cannot really trust ourselves. We can trust in His ways because He is God and we are not- and His ways are higher- taking His road always gives us an upgrade- we become more like Him. We can speak the truth of God’s Word in the Authority we have been given in Christ Jesus to the father of lies- and at the very name of Jesus, he has to flee. The only ground the enemy can take in our lives, and of those we have loved, is where we come into agreement with the message he is speaking. To break free we must make agreements with God’s Kingdom, with what is true, and break agreements and actions that follow with the kingdom of darkness. This is a process. But denial- is a lie- rooted in fear of loss. Any fear means we have not allowed God’s love to come into that place and we are still grasping for control.

We have an enemy-it is satan- not each other.

Ephesians 6:12

New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Light and Darkness cannot co-habitat. 
1 John 1:5-9   
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
We need God to show us our transgressions, daily.
Psalm 139:23-24
New Living Translation (NLT)
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
   and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
We can discern the condition of our hearts by the fruit of our life. 
Galatians 5: 16-26 Living by the Spirit’s Power
16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.
When He reveals darkness, we can confess and repent and be cleansed and restored to righteousness.
1 John 1:9
New Living Translation (NLT)
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
We then are free to love, because He first loved us- undeservingly.
1 John 4:16-20
16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[b] because he loved us first.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister,[c] that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.[d]
We show this love by knowing we are not better than anyone- we are simply In Christ, and we work in love to bring one another to the understanding of who they are in Christ.
Philippians 2:3-5
New Living Translation (NLT)
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
We understand that our enemy is the father or lies and wants nothing more than to bring destruction.
John 8:42-50
New Living Translation (NLT)
42 Jesus told them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, because I have come to you from God. I am not here on my own, but he sent me. 43 Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! 44 For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me! 46 Which of you can truthfully accuse me of sin? And since I am telling you the truth, why don’t you believe me? 47 Anyone who belongs to God listens gladly to the words of God. But you don’t listen because you don’t belong to God.”
48 The people retorted, “You Samaritan devil! Didn’t we say all along that you were possessed by a demon?”
49 “No,” Jesus said, “I have no demon in me. For I honor my Father—and you dishonor me. 50 And though I have no wish to glorify myself, God is going to glorify me. He is the true judge.
We overcome satan by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Revelation 12:11
New Living Translation (NLT)
11 And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
   and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much
   that they were afraid to die.
And we lay down our flesh, pick up our cross, follow Jesus, and agree with His heart which is that none should perish, but ALL would have everlasting life in Christ Jesus!
Matthew 16:24-27
New Living Translation (NLT)
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 25 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 26 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?[a] Is anything worth more than your soul? 27 For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds.
2 Peter 3:9
Amplified Bible (AMP)
9 The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.
So our lives journey and every aspect of it should align with our call to GO and make disciples of all nations- and to Love God and love others!
Matthew 28:19
New Living Translation (NLT)
19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,[a]baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 22:36-40
New Living Translation (NLT)
36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
And we must understand in the new covenant what Jesus defines as murder, adultery etc. It is all about where our heart is- which is conceived in the mind.
Matthew 5:21-22
Amplified Bible (AMP)
21 You have heard that it was said to the men of old, You shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be [a]liable to andunable to escape the punishment imposed by the court.
22 But I say to you that everyone who continues to be[b]angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be [c]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be [d]liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You [e]cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be[f]liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire.
Knowing this- and our sin nature- we are to commit to the constant renewing of our mind to become like Christ- to be able to fulfill the call to love.
Romans 12:2
Amplified Bible (AMP)
2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Amplified Bible (AMP)
3 For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,
5 [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories andreasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
And as we do this, we will be quick to repent, and quick to forgive others. This is the only way to live- the only true life. Everything outside of the Word of God is rooted in fear, pride, or denial.

WE CAN OVERCOME! We do not have to be defined by the way we have always done things. We can choose today to break the destructive cycles and replace them with constructive cycles and move FORWARD! And trust me- every small step in the right direction leads to the world changing! And God loves the world! He said you were worth it- believe Him- I do!