Tag Archives: hurt

Just a little more, and then……

Standard
photo of woman and inverted buildings

Photo by Inzmam Khan on Pexels.com

I’m hungry. I’m hungry to create something. Something that matters. I find myself desperate to be a part of something beautiful. To create beauty. To join in. To be a part. I want to write something that will change the world as we know it. I want to paint something that will heal a broken heart and bring the walking dead back to life. I want to be great! I want to do something inspiring and amazing.

I cry out to God! Here I am! Send me. But its more like waving my arms, as in, don’t forget me. I want to be used mightily. And He smiles, turns me around, and shows me the life I already have. He shows me how He has called me and sent me. He sent me to be his wife, and their mother, their teacher, their friend, their daughter, their sister, their confidant. I am called. I am called right here in the place that I’m already in.

Why doesn’t it feel like it’s the GREAT I desire? Why does it feel so insignificant? Why do I always feel this sense of wanting something MORE? It like a constant nagging, that even though I can’t put my finger on it, what I have is not enough. Discontent. Exhaustion. dissatisfaction. He reminds me that all I have right now, began in a place of prayer. I asked for this life, for these callings. And He answered.

You see, I believe this “not enough” sickness is a ploy from our enemy to steal our joy. To steal our moments, to steal our hope. I believe that, at least for me, comparing what I am called to, to what others are called to, is one of the most exhausting parts of this cancerous not enough plague. I have decided to declare war on not enough. I have decided to embrace what I have in my hands and heart, and offer it up to God in thanks.

I choose today to sow my whole self into what is already before me. I choose to no longer wait for the great. I choose to put my full weight into the great that is now. Today, exactly where I am, exactly what I have and what I don’t, is enough. I will honor God by honoring all of the ones He has entrusted me with.

Father, please keep turning me around to see the beauty of the life before me. Help me to guard my heart and mind from thinking everyone else has it better, or simply just easier, than I do. Help me to rejoice in the beauty that is my life, status quo. I trust You with my life, with my present and future. Thank You for covering my past. I admit that all I need more of, is You. Bless me with Your presence and truth all day long today, my daily bread. I see you, and I want more of You. In Jesus’ Mighty name I pray, Amen.

Advertisements
Aside

So conflict- it can be a beautiful thing when surrendered to God and genuinely handled with love. However, not matter who you are, if conflict arises between you and another, and you choose to look at yourself or others without having/keeping love on- you are opening yourself and the relationship up to an onslaught of attack from our enemy.

Any area in our hearts that is left wounded and untended to will ultimately be exposed when any conflict arises and even gets close to that old wound. The messages of lies that cause those wounds to remain get louder and the new conflict chimes in perfect harmony with all those old messages.

If somewhere inside of you, there is a lie that says you are too much and no one could ever really handle to real you- and someone says gently and kindly, “Hey, how you said that things kind of rubbed me the wrong way,” you will hear- I can’t handle the way you are and you should be different than how you really are.

I could go on and on and on with examples, but here is the truth. We are all in process and NONE OF US have the ability to get it right 100% of the time. We need to extend grace, and hope that when it’s our turn, grace will be extended to us. We all have old wounds, and conflict can be God’s way of bringing that thing to your attention and showing you that now is the time to begin to work through those lies and find out what God says is true about you in that place. We then can replace the lie, with a scripture, and then when the attack comes back, we say “NO! That is not true! God says…..” This is a simple, extremely effective and powerful way to combat the lied of the enemy.

Here is the scripture the Lord gave me recently in the midst of conflict that I was overreacting to because of my wounded places- I could tell there was more pain, more reaction, more yuck than needed, and I knew that I needed healing- but in the moment I could not find that place- I cried out to the Lord and He gave me this word: 

Colossians 3:15

Amplified Bible (AMP)

15 And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

WOW! Applying this truth changed my entire state- my whole atmosphere. Let me break it down how He shared it with me. 

1) Peace is to UMPIRE your heart when any questions arise.

     I knew I was currently not in peace, and that I could not come up with any conclusions about any truth about myself until I reentered a peaceful state.

2) To get there, be thankful, appreciative, and begin giving praise to God.

      I would not be able to enter into a peaceful state, to begin to draw true conclusions until I took the magnifying glass off of my conflict and it’s pain, and chose to magnify God and how AWESOME AND MIGHTY He is!  I began thanking Him for who He is, and all He has done, and out of that- praise was a natural progression. I spent time worshipping Him with my voice, and my mind slowed, and I was able to see from His perspective and recognize those lies that were trying to reattach themselves to my identity were just that, lies. I was able to trust that what God has said is truer than anything I was currently feeling, and I could respond in love out of the place of remembering how loved I am.

Furthermore, through this loving conflict, the Lord has brought to light a few areas I need to be allowing Him to prune off of me. He has given me a few new strategies to protect relationships and shown me some false protections I have been trusting in which is actually hurting me. This conflict, although seemingly came out of nowhere, has been incredibly fruitful and I know the fruit I can see is only the beginning.

So, I urge you today to love others enough to choose not to side step conflict when it needs to happen. Love them enough to be real with them when their actions hurt you, or perhaps seem contrary to their witness. Conflict is not something to be avoided so we can all live in false harmony, love actually says, “Hey, this seem off.” Pray before hand for the Lord to prepare both of your hearts and that nothing spoken gets miscommunicated and that if in your heart there is any motivation other than love, that He would first deal with you and bring your spirit into perfect alignment with His. And then seek Him for the timing and wait upon Him trusting that He is working it all out.

Consider this- the Lord has never and will never do anything out of any motivation other than love- He is love- He is constant- and He is for you. He will never lead you astray! You can TRUST HIM!

 

Hurting people

Standard

Yesterday the Lord showed me the the epidemic of how “hurting people,” inevitably go around hurting people. When we are wounded, if we do not seek healing or wholeness, all of our perception, perspective, and response will come through a filter attached to our wounded places. We will wound others, which in turn, makes us hate ourselves even more, and it just gets uglier and uglier. In my heart, I can feel the Lord’s burden to break this cycle so that the generations to come do not suffer from the wounds you and I are carrying now. I can feel His pain for every single hurting person in the whole entire world. He LOVES every single person, in every nation, in this whole world He created. He desires to set every single person free. He want to break EVERY chain that is binding us from becoming everything He created us to be. If you are hurting, He wants to make to whole. You are worth investing in. You are worth the time and effort it takes to walk through the healing process. You are worth the fight. You are loved, cherished, valued, and one of a kind. There is no other person alive who can fill the purposes for which He created you for. He lavishly loves you with a love that will never fail. He gave it all for you. If you are weary, wounded, hurting, and just feel like you are too broken to be fixed, know this: There is no “too broken” for God. Nothing is too big, too hard, or impossible for Him. Your circumstances, the condition of your heart, your pain will not surprise Him- He has walked with you every step of the way already. Turn to Him, offer Him your broken heart, no matter how many pieces it is in, and then say yes, say yes continually, the the beautiful process with Him to find healing, wholeness, and purpose, driven by a response to being so fully loved. He is with you. He is for you. His love will conquer all. You can trust HIm! You are lovable and lovely! Today is the day! He cares for you!