Been stuck…but trying again.

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Hello Friends! In the face of accusation, I was believing I had nothing worth while to bring and further more that my life wasn’t worthy of being shared and if I’m not even received well by those who have known me the longest, then perhaps I should just be quiet.

But do you know what the Lord showed me? He showed me how Jesus wasn’t even received by those who had known Him the longest. In His own hometown, He could not be free to be His truest self because the familiarity of “knowing” Him kept the people from seeing the real Him. WOW!

The Lord also showed me how Hannah was tormented by someone in her world and it would often reduce her to tears and keep her from eating. Rejection and accusation hurt- but they only get to define us if we come into agreement the message which is trying to convince us that we are less than the Lord says we are.

Thankfully, I serve a greater authority than any other man- I serve Jesus. Jesus gets to define who I am. Although it is difficult- any time I begin to ponder on what these other people have spoken over me (which has silenced my voice for over a month as I have struggled deeply to discern what was true) I have to release them to the Lord and pray that His blessings, His love, and His kindness would be upon them. And then I ask Him to speak to me, yet again, of who He says I am.

One particular night, after an extremely troubling encounter full of accusation which brought deep sadness and heaviness to my heart, I asked the Lord to speak over me all night long who I am to Him. The first thing I heard were the words to this song:

You’re My Beloved, You’re My Bride, To Sing over You is My Delight, Come Away with Me My Love.

I sing over you my song of peace,Cast all your care down at my feet ,Come and find your rest in me

I’ll breathe my life inside of you, I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings, And hide you in the shadow of my strength

I’ll take you to my quiet waters ,I’ll restore your soul, Come rest in me and be made whole.

And I was lost, yet again, in His love. My soul needed restoring, and I was weak and hurt and vulnerable, and the only place I could feel safe was in the shadow of His strength. I needed so desperately to know I was His and that He STILL delights in me, even though others express utter disgust with me. Do you see how powerful it is to bring your wounded places to the heart of the One who can heal them? Do you see how differently I may feel about the ones who are currently accusing, rejecting, and hurting me if I couldn’t turn to Jesus and ask them to bless, love, and heal them also?

Friends, my mind wants to take control- my thinker wants to defend myself, to lash back and PROVE that I am not any of the things they are saying I am- but what did Jesus do when He was being attacked- He shook the dust off of His feet and kept moving. He blessed and loved and kept His eyes fixed on the Father, staying in His will. He was not delayed, distracted, or defeated by any who did not receive Him, He simply kept focusing on the ones who did.

Although, my heart is still hurting, I am receiving this season of conflict as an opportunity to upgrade my response and to become more like Jesus. And I would love to encourage you today, that if you are being misunderstood, or accusation is being hurled in your direction, or if you are sharing in any of the sufferings of Jesus, accept the opportunity for upgrade. Keep your eyes fixed on Him who is the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and release those who are hurting you to the Lord believing HIs goodness and kindness will minister to their wounded places which are ultimately trying to wound you also. He is always the way!

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2 responses »

  1. Wow! Wow! Wow! What an amazing post! What an amazing woman and child of God you are! Thank you for your powerful words, your humble and pure heart, and your transparency. I am glad you are back. I love you…. Your sister in Christ, Tammy

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